NOTE: Email and home addresses have been removed from this newsletter - if you need to paypal/send anything please refer to the original copy (should have been mailed to all members) or ask around in the Facebook group
 
Welcome to the Decompression Season for burners everywhere!  Barbie Death Camp & Wine Bistro just had our annual State of the Village meeting Thursday evening and an interesting evening was had by all.  Vulture Chow and Graidawg came out from New Jersey, edging out Chris Haworth who drove down from Seattle, for the coveted “Friends of OPEC Award”.  But before I get into the important aspects of the meeting, there are a few announcements I’d like to kick this newsletter off with.  First off, Frank the Vintner, who actually developed the “Wine Bistro” part of our camp, has just been released from the hospital.  He had kidney cancer and had one of them removed.  He is at home resting comfortably—and of course was unable to attend the SOTV Meeting—but we want to wish him a full and healthy recovery.  We look forward to having him back in the fold next year.  And on a completely unrelated note, I would like to announce our Rookie(s) of the Year Award.  This year was pretty much a no-brainer:  From Amsterdam, Inosha and Tom, and in particular Inosha.  Here is a woman who on Monday would not so much as take off her top (without much coercion from the patrons of the lounge, and then for only a moment) at the Party Naked Tiki Bar—the name itself speaks volumes—to hitting the Orgy Dome not once,but twice before the week was out.  If that isn’t coming out of your shell and embracing the Burning Man spirit, then I don’t know was does.  Congratulations you two!  Now, on to the business at hand.
 
The first thing on everybody’s mind is finances.  For the first time in recent memory, we actually ended up in the black after paying off all of our bills.  The last one for $1375 went to the storage shed in Silver Springs, NV so the books are closed for the year.  We ended up just under $2000 ahead, so it was decided that there shall be no dues increase for 2018!  Veterans until June 1 will pay $100, newbies $150, and anyone coming in from overseas an extra $50 as well.  We are also waiving the $100 DGS deposit since candidly, it didn’t work out very well.  So good news all around financially.
 
We did expel one person and another (whom we believe will not be camping with us in any event) is on “double-secret probation”.  So for the most part, our citizenry was on their finest behavior.  On the other end of the spectrum is whom are we going to ask to join Barbie Death Village.  Jon is going to ask the small camp Circle of Friends to join us.  We will let you know probably come February if they say yes.  And finally, The Tuna Guys will not be with us in 2018.  Where they’re camping is on a “need-to-know” basis but they may return in the future.  We are also going to request through the BMOrg when we fill out the village application to, if possible, be located near Poly Paradise, Duck Pond, and Martini Village.
 
Next on the agenda are tickets.  We are going to ask Sharen to head up the Ticket Exchange, with Chris as her helper, this year.  We hope to get another 100 Direct Group Sale tickets, but won’t know for sure until February when the BMOrg makes their announcement.  We were solid green on the MOOP Map so that bodes well.  There are going to be some of you who will be very disappointed indeed.  Several names came up of people promising, in writing through The Volunteer Spot, to help clean up camp and other tasks which went unfulfilled.  They simply vanished when it came time to do the real heavy lifting.  You will not be getting a DGS link this year.  No more Mr. Nice Guy, we are through letting people simply slide out of their responsibilities.  But look on the bright side:  That frees up maybe a half dozen tickets for the rest of us.
 
I mentioned the MOOP Map, and again, we as a Village did an exemplary job.  One place where we didn’t do so well, and this is an annual problem, is where we have kept the kegs which Don donates that hold the wine in the Wine Bistro.  They leak wine everywhere, and I must admit I was part of the problem.  We had to dig a hole over a foot deep to finally be able to cover the stain caused by the wine.  Next year we are going to keep the keg in a small kiddie pool which will capture any spillage so we no longer have that problem.
 
Let’s talk trash, shall we?  This was not a banner year for Barbie Death Village in the garbage department.  As a Village we generated 7,080 pounds—over 3 ½ tons—of trash.  This shatters the previous record by nearly a half a ton.  And we managed to lose money for the first time.  We were selling pink trash bags for $5 apiece, or 3 for $10.  One camp bought $100 worth of bags (for you sub-geniuses out there, that equals 30)  and then proceeded to dump over 60 bags of trash into the trailer.  Next year we are going to do things a little bit differently:  Everyone will be gifted, as part of your dues, one pink bag.  All other bags will be on sale as before, and this includes before we even hit the playa.  But Wildman will not accept any trash, with the rare exception of that which is Village-generated (like empty wine bladders from the Naked Bike Ride & Pub Crawl for example), that is not in a pink bag.  We don’t want to hear your excuses.  Since we will be offering the opportunity to pre-purchase bags, the excuse “Well, Wildman’s never around” will fall on deaf ears.  And it’s not that he’s never around, he’s probably just avoiding you on purpose.  God knows I do.
 
We have an “Art Car Team”, to be headed up by Brooke and Anthony.  The vehicles both need oil changes, transmission and radiator checks, be ran once a month, and basic maintenance.  We will not start doing repairs and rehabilitation until probably May when the weather turns warmer.  Hopefully we can get several volunteer teams in California and Nevada to help out in this task.
 
This is certainly an improvement:  We are changing the way we do ice runs.  You will be able to pre-pay, as a sub-camp, for your ice.  No more trying to locate people who don’t slither out of their bat cave until the crack of noon for ice.  We are also looking at spending down some of our excess money and buy the camp a deep freezer.  This is in the planning process and we’ll fill you in on details if and when they emerge.  We will also deliver ice to a designated spot for each sub-camp, into their own specially-marked cooler.  No more ice thievery in Barbie Death Village.
 
We are going to follow up on this year’s BED Talk with one again next year.  Beginning one hour before the Chili Cook-Off (5:00 on Monday) we plan on having it scheduled.  Vulture Chow and Graidawg will be in charge of those logistics.  But considering how—and I’m not sure how to say this delicately—some charges of sexual misconduct, be they true or not, were handled, this seems like the proper course to take.
 
We are looking at having a Black Rock City Mall in our Village.  The concept as I understand it will be a stage within the Village if a sub-camp wishes to host an event.  This will probably take some of the space vacated by The Tuna Guys.  This is still in the early planning stages so come Spring we should have a more solid explanation.
 
We had some problems during clean up with the burn barrel.  We had asked everyone to stop burning their trash by noon on Monday, but come Tuesday people were still ignoring our requests and burning things, including the sign which read “NO BURNING AFTER NOON ON MONDAY”.  So in order to stop that from happening again, we are adding a locking mechanism to the trash barrel which will solve that problem.  And people, as funny as you might have thought it was, burning the DO NOT BURN sign was just uncool.
 
We need better baskets and locking/unlocking mechanisms for the hot dog feed.  We are open to suggestions.  If you come up with a superior system naturally the camp will cover all costs.
 
Felony has decided that the Village needs a “Kodiak Appreciation Day.”  This will somehow honor Kodiak McStompinboots and we will fill you in on the details come summer.
 
And finally, on a completely unrelated subject, for those of you in the general Northern California region (or those vagabonds willing to fly out), the annual—and very possibly the last—AMTRAKathon Snow Party Train to Reno will commence on the weekend of January 27-28.  $199/single, $325/couple includes bottomless champagne and beer, catered lunch, roundtrip transportation from the Roseville Amtrak station, hotel room, and that Saturday night a Burning Man-inspired party.  We can take 90 people (it’s over 35% full already) and a $100 deposit will hold your spot until December.  You can use PayPal with Doc's email as the go-to addy.  So if you’ve been “sitting on the fence” on whether or not to take this marvelous trip, this may well be your last chance.  So sign up today, m’kay?
 
Respectfully submitted,
 
Doc Pyro and Felony Arson
NOTE: Email and home addresses have been removed from this newsletter - if you need to paypal/send anything please refer to the original copy (should have been mailed to all members) or ask around in the Facebook group
 
In less than two weeks the first of our Villagemates will be hard at work on the playa, so this newsletter will be strictly to the point.
 
We want to remind everyone who is driving in to make sure to place a tarp underneath your vehicle to catch oil drippings, etc.  But more importantly, if you spill something toxic, such as black water or gasoline, or you encounter a spill in camp and cannot completely clean it up yourselves, notify Wildman or Felony ASAP.  This in no way will affect your standing in the camp where not reporting it certainly will.
 
Julia has been hard at work finalizing the Barbie Death Village map—no easy task, let me assure you—and she has done another magnificent job.  It is available upon request.  She has placed, within the limits of human capacity, 271 of you in nearly two dozen sub-camps.  When you arrive on the playa and are being placed, please recognize this in an inexact science and try to not overreach on space.   The BMOrg cut us back by half an acre but we have 40 more people than last year, so your patience is appreciated.  In other words, cut us some slack.
 
If you are available August 21 to August 24 and are in the general Carson City/Dayton area, Drew really could use your help securing the mutant vehicles to their respective flatbed trailers so they can safely be hauled out to the desert.  Please contact Drew ASAP if you think you can be of help.
 
We have a number of openings that need to be filled in our Volunteer Spot.  Here are the days and what needs to be done.  The numbers in parentheses—for example (14/20)—are the number of volunteers we have versus the number we need to step up.
 
MONDAY, AUGUST 28:  Chili chefs (14/20) for the cook off.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 29:  Greeters (29/42); Taco feed needs chicken, lettuce, cheese, and servers (3/12); also not on the list, we need people to help load the wine in bags on ice for the NBR&PC Tuesday evening.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30:  For the Naked Bike Ride & Pub Crawl, we need snacks like chips/salsa, cheese, meat and crackers, etc. (1/10)  Wildman also needs seedless grapes to freeze in liquid nitrogen, and I’m not kidding either.
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 2:  For the Pancake Pork-out, electric griddles (1/4), gas/propane griddles (2/12), O.J. (3/6), butter and syrup (3/7), bacon (11/20), and though it’s “filled”, we always could use more pancake batter mix.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 3:  Bulk trash & burn barrel loading (7/15), Art Car tear down (8/16),Barbie Death Village teardown (15/25 though everyone should be doing this job)
 
As of right now our most pressing need in my opinion, which is why I underlined it and put it in italics, is the severe shortage of cooks with (preferably) gas or propane griddles for the Pancake Pork-out.  Without griddles we can’t cook our pancakes or bacon.  If you can help we sincerely would appreciate it.  Hornsby is in charge of the feed.
 
I mentioned Wildman and frozen grapes.  Allow me to elaborate.  We all know Wildman is a true Renaissance Man, like a celestial spirit right out of the Sixteenth Century.  I mean, just look at him and tell me he isn’t 450 years old.  But I digress.  During the entire week he uses liquid nitrogen (kids, don’t try this at home) to flash-freeze grapes, Otter Pops, gin, or anything else you can imagine in literally seconds on the playa.  And frozen grapes seem to be very popular indeed, so he has requested that people bring along a bunch or two of seedless grapes to serve to the dusty denizens of Black Rock City.  So please, if you can help out, he’d appreciate it.
 
Work Access Passes.  They will be available for downloading and printing sometime between today and Tuesday, August 15.  This is an inexact science as well (it’s ran by burners after all) so please, just check into your email that you have used for your Burner Profile and look for an email from TicketFly.  You must print it up yourself and no, carrying it on your phone like a ticket to a Lady Gaga concert will NOT work.  There are a few WAPs available for Saturday, but those will all be handled through me.  If you need a WAP and you haven’t already requested one, you must plead your case with me.  Good luck with that.  But if you succeed, you can pick it up at the Pre-Playa-Party.
 
Which segues nicely into that wonderful event.  The Pre-Playa-Party (note the earlier start time) is a week from Saturday, August 19 beginning at noon at my home.  We will load the flatbed trailer with the piano, shade structures, crucifixes, gallows, ice chests, and whatever else we can cram on.  Then kick back for a BBQ with hamburgers (even veggie burgers) and beer, all brought to you by your good friends atBarbie Death Camp.  The pool will be open and kids are welcome.  Please let me know if you can make it.  This is open to all burners in the general area, not just Barbiebarians.  The reason the party is starting early is that a number of people, including yours truly, are heading up to Oregon for the eclipse, so changes were in order.
 
We really need people to help schlep the Barbie planks out to the desert.  We have just over 50 of them and if you haul them out you’re respectfully requested to haul them back as well.  If we can get eight or ten people to each take five or six planks, we’ll be set.  They can be picked up anytime between now and the Pre-Playa-Party.
 
There still are a few tickets, at least as of this writing, floating around.  It seems everyone who needed tickets and/or vehicle passes got them.  Thank you Chris H for the fine coordination of this thankless endeavor.  Jack may still have a pair of tickets and a vehicle pass.  Contact him directly if you are interested.
 
It’s not too late to take advantage of the Barbie Death Camp Reno Hotel Deal.  We have taken down two floors at the Sands Regency beginning Sunday, August 20 and lasting until Wednesday, September 6.  You must call (866) FUN-STAY [(866) 386-7829] and ask forBARBIE17.  The Sands Regency has a free sauna, large Jacuzzi, and steam bath with ice machines on every floor, large swimming pool, and ample free parking.  There is even covered free parking you can use for the duration of the week if you’re carpooling to the playa.  There is a free shuttle to and from the Reno airport and the Sands is five blocks from the Amtrak station.
 
If you have a coveted WAP and are coming in from Northern California on Saturday, August 26, don’t forget our Burner Caravan, meeting up at the Boreal Ridge rest area (CA exit 176 off of I-80 eastbound) at 9:15 a.m.  We will take off for the playa at 9:30 sharp.  Let me know if you’re going to be part of the posse!
 
On a final note, I want to thank everyone who has helped during the year with working on the art vehicles, helping to load and unload the storage shed, driving the trailers to and from the playa, welding our new burn barrel and making new crucifixes, doing IT support for our Facebook page and newsletter, organizing our Volunteer Spot, keeping track of who-is-staying-where within the Village, and general cat-herding.  You know who you are and so do we, and The Best Damn Theme Camp On The Playa couldn’t operate without each and every one of you.  It was once said that Barbie Death Camp is the closest thing that Black Rock City has to royalty.  Truer words were never spoken.
 
To follow us on the internet, check out our Facebook page https://facebook.com/barbiedeathvillage or our website http://barbiedeathcamp.com.
 
I would like to introduce our newest newbies to Barbie Death Village:  With Alexis, welcome Mike ; with The Pizza Cats we have Riles, Gabby , Jessica , Guy , and Vahan; and joining Danger welcome Brittany.
 
See you in the dust.  The Man burns in 24 days.
 
Respectfully submitted,
 
Doc Pyro & Felony Arson