NOTE: Email and home addresses have been removed from this newsletter - if you need to paypal/send anything please refer to the original copy (should have been mailed to all members) or ask around in the Facebook group
 
Welcome to April everybody and this month’s riveting Barbie Death Village newsletter.  As we embark upon this first day of April, I am reminded of a quote from Mark Twain: “The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.”  I somehow think Mr. Twain was being somewhat charitable considering the current state of affairs, but I digress.  As is our wont, we try to begin these brilliant tomes with something Barbie Death Camp related.  Scroll down just a few shots and you’ll see a nice picture of our camp.  But if you go much further some of the pictures are NSFW.  Enjoy!
 
 
Now that the main ticket sale is behind us, it’s time to reflect upon that ordeal.  For those of you fortunate enough to get a link through the Directed Group Sales, that seemed to work out very well.  For those of you trying to get in on the regular way sale, being in that queue as they sold out in 42 minutes must have felt something like a Christian Scientist with appendicitis.  From what I hear, only one in four people trying to get in to buy tickets and a vehicle pass actually got them.  Bummer.  But for the rest of you there is good news on the horizon!  We are now starting our Barbie Death Village in-house ticket exchange, which “Bag Lady” Sharen is heading up.  If you need a ticket we should be able to help you out.   If you happen to have either a ticket or vehicle pass for sale, please do not go into the STEP program.  We guarantee your ticket will find a good home with a  fellow Barbiebarian and the Village will cover the cost to transfer if need be.  That’s how confident we are that it will be bought.
 
Now would be a good time to discuss Work Access Passes, otherwise known as “early arrival passes”.  We do not know how many the BMOrg will give us, but you can just bet it will be fewer than last year.   So far we have requests for 63 passes.  Just because you have already requested a WAP does not mean you will necessarily get one!   Simply because you’re flying in from Estonia or are driving from the East Coast holds no sway with us whatsoever.  And if your reasoning—like several of you have had in the past—is that this is the only way you can secure a ride into Black Rock City, then might I suggest you find another form of transportation.  Felony and I are, by necessity, going to be very anal about who actually gets a WAP.  Do not hold it against us if you don’t get one; we know you’re “indispensable” to the camp, but people who are actually hauling out the infrastructure and have shown that they’re not afraid of hard work are truly indispensable and will be the first ones to be rewarded.  The rest of you can wait in line just like everybody else.  Special arrangements will be made for those picking up tickets at Will Call.  So if you want a WAP, not only do you have to request one to both Felony and me but you must justify why you need one.  That should eliminate about a third of you.  Do not shoot the messenger.  Last year we ran out of WAPs and we’re not going to make that same mistake again.  We will take into consideration if you’re staying until late Monday night helping to clean up Barbie Death Village.  That will be to your advantage.  Otherwise, you know the drill.
 
Just a quick note on dues.  Until June 1, they remain $100 for veterans and $150 for newbies.  Anybody coming from overseas will be assessed an additional fifty bucks.   Our preferred method is PayPal the usual email, or you can send a check via snail mail to Doc.  Please do not send cash.
 
We are on the lookout for a new piano for the camp.  Ideally it should be a console though a spinet will do.  Please, no upright or grand pianos.  We have to move it ourselves.  We also could use a piano tuner.  If you happen to know of one who will be on the playa, have him or her contact me so we can try and work something out.
 
Speaking of additions to the camp, with The T*** Guys, A Playa Home Companion, and Cantina Vida either gone or just relocated, Barbie Death Village for the first time in three years is in an expansion mode.  So if you know of some quality people looking for a camp within the best damn Village on the playa, have them contact either Felony or me and we will run the vetting process by them accordingly.  We anticipate being on about four acres again this year (you never know for sure considering the BMOrg allocates the space) so we can probably offer a plot of land on one of the main thoroughfares if there is a small army coming over.  And in that regard, now would be a good time to request space for individual sub-camps (of which everyone in the Village will be part).  Let Julia know how much space and of course the name of your camp and she will begin the mapping process shortly.
 
Vulture Chow has finalized the 2018 Volunteer Spot, which lists many of the camp’s activities and is an easy and convenient way to sign up for one of the many, and dare I say fun, tasks that we have available every year.  Once you’ve paid your dues she will send you a link.  If you have already paid your dues but have not received a link, please contact her ASAP via email.  Everyone is asked to volunteer for something and if you were awarded Directed Group Tickets or intend to receive a WAP, then it is absolutely required.  Nobody who asks for a Work Access Pass but has not signed up on the Volunteer Spot will receive a pass.  On this no exceptions will be made.
 
We once again have our Barbie Death Village Reno Hotel Deal for all burners, not just Barbiebarians, driving to and from the playa via Reno.  We have negotiated a great deal with The Sands Regency and if this year is like the previous three, there will be an extended burner party on Monday and Tuesday as well.  Use this link https://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?f=524&t=85650 to help make your reservation.
 
We would like to welcome our newbies to Barbie Death Village!  With Lake Tahoe Lori we have Devin and Ryan; joining Tom are Kristi, Eddie, and from Indiana Erika; long-time burner and FOBDV from Idaho we welcome Little Flower; with Jolanta say hello to Jon; Hottie is bringing along her BF Mike; from France, Rebecca has Bruno; Susie Q has introduced us to veteran burner Willy; and with Chantelle and the Pizza Cats welcome Luke, Anna, and from Germany both Martin and Regina.
 
If you would like to follow up on the internet, visit our website at http://barbiedeathcamp.com or like us on Facebook https://facebook.com/barbiedeathvillage.
 
And finally, for those of you who have actually bothered to read down this far, on a personal but non-related note, I am retiring this month after many years in the financial-services industry.  I am having a little get-together on Sunday, April 22 at The Sienna Restaurant 1480 Eureka Road in Roseville, CA from 11 a.m. until 2 p.m.  For $25 (that includes tax and tip) you get all you can eat in their fabulous buffet and for an additional ten bucks it’s bottomless mimosas.  And when they say “bottomless” they mean it.  If you want to join the festivities shoot me an email and I’ll add you to the list.  We do need an RSVP to hold your spot.  Hope to see you there.
 
The Man burns in 153 days )’(
 
Respectfully submitted,
 
Doc Pyro and Felony Arson
NOTE: Email and home addresses have been removed from this newsletter - if you need to paypal/send anything please refer to the original copy (should have been mailed to all members) or ask around in the Facebook group
 
Welcome to March everybody and another riveting Barbie Death Village newsletter.  As winter gives way to spring, I am reminded of a quote from Garrison Keillor in his book Lake Wobegon Days: “March is the month God created to show people who don’t drink what a hangover is like.”  Of course if you live in Alaska that month is called May, but I digress.  As usual we like to begin these newsletters with something Barbie Death Camp related.  Here is a link that, if your scroll down to Tuesday, describes us as “…the famed Barbie Death Camp…”  So take that Gigsville (and I for one don’t think we’re all that sick).  Enjoy!
 
 
Today is the day (well, technically yesterday) that if you were awarded Directed Group Sale tickets that they went on sale.  You must buy your tickets and vehicle pass before the end of the day today!  You should find your code under “Sparkly Things” on the Burner Profile link https://profiles.burningman.org/  Though the Burning Man website says you have until noon PST tomorrow to buy your DGS tickets, our experience has been that they close the sale as soon as they reach the upper limit on the amount of tickets available. In other words, get off of your rusty dusty and buy your tickets now.  (You can come back to this brilliant newsletter after you purchase your tickets.)  We know a number of you have been “inconvenienced” by having to share your link with a fellow Barbiebarian.  A few of you even had some rather choice words for me which will not be repeated here.  Keep in mind that getting a DGS ticket is a privilege and not a right.  Some of you we suspect won’t even be there early to set up much less stay late to help clean up, which places an undue burden on the rest of us.  Yet some are sniveling because “…I didn’t get enough tickets for all of my friends…”  Just be thankful you’re not like the other 90% of those denizens of Black Rock City—and a majority of members of Barbie Death Village—who have to go through the regular-way sale.
 
That said, and yes it was a rant because several of you have made our lives a living hell, registration for the regular-way sale begins at noon Wednesday, March 21(PDT) and ends 48 hours later.  The sale commences at noon on March 28.  You must be ready to buy your tickets the moment they go on sale.  They will be sold out, if history is any guide (and it is), in 47 minutes.  For a full explanation of tickets go to https://tickets.burningman.org/   There will be other opportunities to buy tickets before TTITD begins, but for dues-paying members of our camp we will have our in-village Ticket Exchange program up and running.  Last year we matched up over 40 people—essentially everyone who needed a ticket—with a ticket by mid-August.  Do not despair, everyone who needs a ticket will somehow manage to get one.  That’s why you are members of Barbie Death Village.  With that being said, I want to again thank Sharen and Chris for heading up the exchange this year.  If you have a ticket for sale or are in need of a ticket, reach out to them by email. 
 
On a related subject, let’s discuss vehicle passes.  Even though we all realize that this is nothing more than an unabashed rip-off so Larry Harvey and his ilk can do better drugs and drink high-end liquor at our expense, it is nonetheless a reality.  They only give one vehicle pass per pair of tickets.  Vehicle Passes will be available in the OMG sale come August. But what if you don’t get them there, then what?  In the past passes were available at Will Call.  So anybody in need of a VP come August who cannot manage to carpool with someone who has one, you will have priority on a Saturday Work Access Pass (early entry pass) in order to get your vehicle pass with the least amount of hassle.  You see, membership does indeed have its privileges.  This seems like a reasonable compromise where everybody comes out ahead.  Felony and I like to call it “enlightened camp leadership.”
 
A quick word on dues.  Until June 1 (when they go up for everybody by fifty bucks), dues for veterans coming in from North America are $100 and newbies are $150.  Everyone coming in from overseas will be assessed an additional $50.  You can use our preferred method of payment, using PayPal to Doc (NOTE:  This is not the same email address that the newsletter is usually sent from) or snail mail to Doc's home address. (Check the email newsletter if you need this info, or ask us! You can send a message to the FB page.)
 
It is that time of year when we begin choosing people to head up various committees in order to streamline the work that needs to be done to make a camp likeBarbie Death Camp run like a well-oiled machine.  We are assuming—perhaps hoping is a more accurate word—that the same people who headed up various tasks last year will do the same this year.  We hate reinventing the wheel.  Here are some of the committees that need to be ran, and if you’d like to help please let Felony know ASAP.  We hope to have our Volunteer Spot up and running shortly to better simplify the process. (Some days are approximate) Pre-event SATURDAY and SUNDAY: Pizza/lasagna feed; MONDAY:  “I Won Burning Man”, Chili Cook Off; TUESDAYGreeter’s Shift, taco feed; WEDNESDAY: Eplaya Meet & Greet (Brand X) and the Bloody Barbies Party, Naked Bike Ride & Pub Crawl, Tour de Franzia;  THURSDAYBum Wine Tasting Party, Fizzball; FRIDAY: BRC Body & Paint opens for business for Critical T(.)(.)ts, ladies 3-hour mutant vehicle art tour; SATURDAY: Pancake Pork-out, art vehicles to the playa for The Burn, On-Playa Weenie Roast.  Also remember we need people to help head up mutant vehicle decoration, registration, and flame effects, daily MOOP sweeps, lumpia feed most midnights, and on it goes.
 
No word yet on shirts and hats for 2018.  I do know that Stu said he is working on the design and should have a PDF soon.
 
Hottie, one of our long-time Barbiebarians, has moved out to Northern California (Auburn) from Florida and is looking for a place to rent.  If you know of someplace affordable please let her know. (Her contact info is in the email version of the newsletter).
 
For those of you in the market for a smaller yet very functional mutant vehicle, Mike and Bobbi have one for sale.  It is playa-tested and works like a beaut.  Mike’s cost to build it was 15 grand but he’s asking to let it go for $9500.  Contact Mike. And just  a reminder, Marty still has his MV for sale as well.   (Both of their contact info are in the email version of the newsletter).
 
Now to introduce our newbies.  With Ingeouss and their new sub-camp Robacchus, welcome Rongo; with Bobbi and Mike we have Bonnie and Ken; with Gary from Texas welcome Mike, Gretchen, and Dana; from the Czech Republic joining Adela welcome Jiri and Milan; with Kaspr say hello to Wendy; and finally, with Perry we welcome aboard Troy.
 
I would also like to note that our good friends A Playa Home Companion are also going independent this year and they absolutely will be missed.  So if any veteranBarbiebarians know of an established camp looking for placement in (and thus joining) the most revered Village on the playa, please let Felony and me know so we can do the vetting process.  It looks like we will have space within the Village for several new sub-camps should we be so inclined.
 
And on a personal note, for those who might be interested in tying the knot in holy matrimony, I have become an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church and can legally perform weddings in the State of California.  I already have my first assignment on March 18 for a couple of lovebirds who met at the most romantic camp on the playa, I am referring of course to Barbie Death Camp.  Let the party begin!
 
The Man burns in 184 days )’(
 
Respectfully submitted,
 
Doc Pyro & Felony Arson