NOTE: Email and home addresses have been removed from this newsletter - if you need to paypal/send anything please refer to the original copy (should have been mailed to all members) or ask around in the Facebook group
 
Welcome to April everybody!  Today is April Fool’s Day, and I am reminded of the quote by Charles Lamb, “Here comes April again, and as far as I can see the world has more fools in it than ever.”  But this is no joke, it’s the April Barbie Death Village newsletter.  As usual, whenever possible we like to start these brilliant tomes off with something camp-related.  You will need to scroll down to Tuesday in order to see the write up on BDC.  Barbie must die?  If you insist!  Enjoy.
 
 
Now that we are less than five months away from returning home, it’s time to start getting busy with planning and logistics.  The first order of business involves the art vehicles.  We have two main ones, The Cloud Car and The Barbie House.  We are going to have a work party the week of April 8-15 in Fernley, NV. Our primary goals are to set the cars up and make sure everything is clean, pretty, working, and complete!  We want to have them “packed up and ready for the playa” well ahead of time.  This is a leave-no-trace work site so cleaning up our mess is very important.  Drew will be out from Connecticut and we really need your help.  I intend on being there on Thursday afternoon, April 13.  If you can help please contact Drew ASAP Jess.  If you are handy with general maintenance, electrical wiring, and so forth, both vehicles need some TLC. If you plan on helping, Wildman has offered up his home for people to trash, uh, I mean to crash at during the week.  If you would like to take him up on his generous offer, contact Wildman directly.   Other accommodations include a campground close by if you’d prefer.  Bring sleeping bags!  We can use all various skill sets: mechanics, cleaners, fluffers, LNTers, electronic geeks, ad nauseum. 
 
Now that the ticket sale is behind us, it’s time to briefly reflect on that ordeal.  For those of you who were fortunate enough to get links in the Directed Group Sales—and I only heard of one snafu—that seemed to work out pretty well.  For those of you who tried to get in on the regular way sale earlier this week, I would imagine being in that queue as they sold out in less than 40 minutes must have felt something like a Christian Scientist with appendicitis.  I guess only one in four people trying to get in actually were able to buy tickets.  Bummer.  But there is good news on the horizon!  We are now starting up our Barbie Death Village in-house ticket exchange.  Last year everyone who needed a ticket by the time mid-August rolled around was able to secure one.  Chris Haworth is in charge of the exchange.  If you have a ticket or vehicle pass available please DO NOT go into the S.T.E.P. program.  We guarantee your ticket will find a good home with a fellow Barbiebarian.
We would, however, encourage you to try to get a ticket or vehicle pass through S.T.E.P. just in case.  So please, contact Chris if you have a ticket or vehicle pass that needs to go to a good home.
 
It’s never too early to start plugging some of our more popular events.  Our annual chili cook-off will be held beginning at 6 p.m. on Monday.  The reason we do it on Monday is so if you don’t have refrigeration and you brought chili pre-made from home, it won’t have spoiled.  We hope.  If you want to try your hand at inflicting chili on the rest of your campmates, join Chef Ptomaine and sign up to bring chili.  We need about 20 chefs, each with a gallon or two (about the size of a crock pot) of chili.  Both with meat and vegetarian are fine.   We could also use cornbread, hors d’oeuvres, and a clean-up crew.  This is an excellent way to get the week started but please, this is for Barbiebarians only.  You will need to sign up via our Volunteer Spot link.  All dues-paying campmates should have already received a link, but if not, contact Vulture Chow and she’ll get you started.  (NOTE: Be sure to check your spam file or set signup.com as a safe sender because nearly half of the people VC has sent the link to have yet to log in.)  And remember, most nights at midnight we have our lumpia feed in camp so we need chefs for no fewer than five nights.  To give you a brief overview of some of the activities that are planned, here is a modest calendar of events for your perusal (some times are approximate): 
 
SUNDAY: 6:00 p.m. Pizza/Lasagna Feed
MONDAY: 12:00 noon “I Won Burning Man”
MONDAY: 6:00 p.m. Chili Cook-off
TUESDAY:  8:00 p.m. to midnight Greeter’s Shift
TUESDAY:  12:00 Midnight Taco Feed
WEDNESDAY:  11:30 a.m. Naked Bike Ride & Pub Crawl
WEDNESDAY:  2:00 p.m.  Tour de Franzia
WEDNESDAY:  6:00 p.m. ePlaya Meet & Greet
THURSDAY:  11:00 a.m. Fizzball
THURSDAY:  12:00 noon “I Won Burning Man”
THURSDAY: 4:00 p.m. Bum Wine Tasting Party
FRIDAY: 9:00 a.m. Black Rock City Body & Paint open for Critical T(.)(.)ts
FRIDAY: 11:00 a.m. Ladies’ 3-hour mutant vehicle art tour
SATURDAY:  9:00 a.m. Pancake Pork Out
SATURDAY: 7:00 p.m. Art vehicles to the playa:  The Man Burns
SATURDAY:  10:00 p.m.  On-Playa Weenie Roast using the fire cannons
 
So there are a lot of exciting and decadent events already planned for Barbie Death Village.  We do hope most of you will stay well into Sunday and even Monday to help clean up.  Honestly, Felony and Wildman truly want and need your support.  And remember:  You’re not spending $425 for a party.  You’re spending $1 for 425 parties.
 
It’s time to discuss Early Arrival passes.  Being able to avoid the long lines on Sunday and Monday is probably worth the cost of your dues right there.  But alas, we are likely to come up short this year.  We do not know how many passes the BMOrg will grant us, but you can just bet it will be fewer than last year.  So far we have requests for 55 passes.  Just because you have already requested an EA pass does not mean you will necessarily get one!  Simply because you’re coming in from Belgium or are driving from the East Coast holds no sway with us whatsoever.  (Unless of course you’re bringing me a case of Nostradamus beer from Belgium then you get as many as you want.)  And if your reasoning is that by getting an EA pass is the only way you can get a ride into Black Rock City, then might I suggest you try to secure another form of transportation.  Felony and I are, by necessity, going to be very anal about who gets an EA pass.  Do not hold it against us if you don’t get one; we know you’re “indispensable” to the camp, but people who are actually hauling out the infrastructure and have shown that they’re not afraid of hard work are truly indispensable and will be the first ones to be rewarded.  The rest of you can wait in line like everybody else.  So if you want an EA pass, not only do you have to request one to both Felony and me but you must justify why you need one for whichever day you intend to arrive.  That should eliminate about a third of you.  Do not shoot the messenger.  Last year we ran out of EA passes and we’re not going to make that same mistake again.   We will take into consideration if you’re staying until late Monday night and helping to clean up Barbie Death Village.  That will be to your advantage.  Otherwise, you know the drill.
 
Dues.  Until June 1, dues are $100 for veterans and $150 for newbies living in North America.  Anyone, veteran and newbie alike, coming in from overseas will be asked to add $50.  Our preferred method is PayPal with Doc Pyro's email as the go-to addy (make sure “you’re sending to a friend” so we’re not charged 3%) or via snail mail to Doc Pyro's address.  After June 1 dues go up for everybody by another fifty bucks.
 
Back this year by popular demand is our Barbie Death Village Reno Hotel Deal at the Sands Regency.  You can check out all of the details on the ePlaya site https://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?f=508&t=80121 but suffice it to say it’s a great deal open to all Barbiebarians as well as friends of Barbie Death Village.  Each room can have two queen beds that sleeps four (12 if you’re sponsoring the orgy).  The hotel has a huge 15 person indoor Jacuzzi, steam bath, sauna, outdoor swimming pool, and covered parking if you’re carpooling to the playa.  We have taken down no fewer than two entire floors so there’s plenty of room.  Call (866) FUN-STAY [(866) 386-7829] and ask for BARBIE17.  This is the best deal in Reno before, during, and after TTITD.  Never let it be said that your friends at Barbie Death Village, even those of you who are not members of our camp, don’t give back to the playa.  Does our spirit of gifting ever end?
 
It’s the time of year people start to not only look for rides to the playa, but in some cases looking for an RV to share.  Two ladies from Florida, BDC veteran Hottie and her friend Danielle, are looking for some RV space.  If you can help out two damsels in distress, contact Hottie.
 
We are still looking for a new piano for our camp.  We do not want an upright (they simply weigh too much) but rather a console or spinet would be better.  Ideally it should be within a 40-mile radius of Auburn.  Please let Doc know if you have a lead on a good piano.  And please, we don’t want to put a lot of money into it so it would be best of the piano doesn’t have broken keys or strings.  And free pianos are the best.
 
For those who wish to follow your favorite theme camp on the internet, our sites are http://barbiedeathcamp.com or on Facebookhttps://facebook.com/barbiedeathvillage.
 
I would like to introduce our newbies to Barbie Death Camp.  From Amsterdam Mische has invited Inosha and Tom; we want to welcome our art car mechanic Matt; with Jack (Eyesguy) from California we have Doug and Marianne; joining Schultzy in Playa Home Companion we have veteran burners Domanique and Christopher; from Phoenix with Nick say howdy to John and Cara; joining Starlite with the Pizza Cats are nine newbies: Noah, Elena, Alex, Caitlyn, Tom, Jamie, JanaShant, and Vladamir; and finally welcome Lollie’s partner Ben.
 
The Man burns in 154 days )’(
 
Respectfully submitted,
 
Doc Pyro & Felony Arson
NOTE: Email and home addresses have been removed from this newsletter - if you need to paypal/send anything please refer to the original copy (should have been mailed to all members)
 
Welcome to March everybody!  As it has been said in the past,  “March: In like a lion, out like a lamb.”  Considering that some of us were about ready to build an ark in the past two weeks, out like a lamb sounds like a refreshing change indeed.  As usual, we like to try and start our Barbie Death Village newsletters off with something camp-related.  Here is a shot of a lady who didn’t even know she was at Barbie Death Camp but found herself inside of Rob and Yvonne’s Barbie box.  Hope she had a good time.
 
 
Today is the day that if you have been awarded Directed Group Sale tickets that they go on sale, beginning at noon PST.  You should find your code under “Sparkly Things” on your Burner Profile page.  Though the Burning Man website claims you have 48 hours to buy them, the last two years they shut down sales in under an hour. In other words, I don’t believe a word Larry & Co. says.  Please be ready to buy your tickets as soon as they go on sale.  We know a number of you have been “inconvenienced” by having to share your link with a fellow Barbiebarian.  A few of you even had some rather choice words for me which will not be repeated here.  Keep in mind that getting DGS tickets is a privilege and not a right.   Some of you we suspect won’t even be there early to set up much less late to clean up, which places an undue burden on the rest of us.  Yet you’re sniveling because you “…didn’t get enough tickets for all my friends…”  Just be thankful you’re not like the other 98% of those denizens of Black Rock City—and a majority of members of Barbie Death Village—who have to go through the regular-way sale.
 
That said, and yes it was a rant because several of you have made our lives a living hell, registration for regular way sales begins on March 22 and the actual sale commences at noon PDT Wednesday, March 29.  You must be ready to buy your tickets the moment they go on sale.  They will be sold out, if history is any guide, in 47 minutes.  For a full explanation on tickets, go to http://tickets.burningman.org/   There will be other opportunities to buy tickets before TTITD begins, but for dues-paying members of our camp we will have our in-village Ticket Exchange program.  Last year we matched up over 30 people who didn’t have tickets with tickets by mid-August.  Do not despair, everyone who needs a ticket will manage to get one.  That’s why you are members of Barbie Death Village.  With that being said, I would like to thank Chris Haworth who will be heading up the exchange this year, along with the guidance of Sharen who did such a fine job the past two years.  If you have a ticket for sale or are in need of a ticket, reach out to Chris (more info in the email version of the newsletter).
 
On a related subject, let’s discuss vehicle passes.  Even though we all realize this is nothing more than an unabashed rip-off so Larry Harvey and his ilk can do better drugs and drink high-end liquor at our expense, it is nonetheless a reality.  They only give one vehicle pass per pair of tickets. Vehicle passes will be available in the OMG sale come August.  But what if you don’t get them there, then what?  In the past passes were available at Will Call.  So anybody in need of a vehicle pass come August who cannot manage to carpool with someone who has one, you will have priority on a Saturday Early Arrival pass in order to get your vehicle pass with the least amount of hassle.  This seems like a reasonable compromise where everyone comes out ahead.  Felony and I like to call it “enlightened camp leadership.”
 
A quick word on dues.  There seems to be some confusion for those coming in from outside of North America.  As was spelled out in the State of the Village newsletter and the January newsletter, those of you coming in from overseas are asked to pony up an additional $50.  The reason is simple:  For the most part, people flying in from Europe or Australia by the very nature of the logistics involved, tend to contribute less to the establishment of Barbie Death Village yet consume, on average, more of the resources than their domestic counterparts.  We are simply evening the playing field.  For everyone else, veterans are asked to pay $100 and newbies $150 until June 1.  You can use our preferred method of payment, using PayPal (note: this is NOT the same email address as the newsletter is sent from, check the email newsletter for the correct one) or snail mail to the address in the email version of this newsletter. If you don't have it, ask in the FB group we will be glad to answer.
 
One of our long-time Barbiebarians, Bernie from Calgary, will not be joining us this year.  In the past he headed up our Greeter’s Shift, which will be on Tuesday evening from 8 p.m. until midnight.  Afterwards we have our Tuesday Taco Feed, but I digress.  We need somebody to herd the cats for this endeavor.  It is not a very hard job—as long as we have art vehicles to schlepp our greeters everything else sort of falls into place—but someone needs to crack the whip.  If you’d like that duty please let Felony and me know in the next several months.
 
No word yet on shirts and hats for 2017.  I do know that Stu is intending to put the year on this year’s apparel.   We had hoped to have a PDF by now, but with so much going on we likely will need to wait until April. 
 
We would like to introduce our newbies, all 21 of them, to our camp.  From Florida Hottie has invited Daniell ; Yaqui is bring his cousin Luis and his wife Carrisa; Finn is enlightening Tom ; with Cantina Vida say hello to Barbara and Albert ; I have invited longtime burners Jon and Sylvia; Danger is bringing his sister Mariah and his friend Richard ; we also have Brian; Mike is bringing his wife Kathryn ; Rachel has invited Victor ;  with The **** Guys welcome Smitten Kitten  and Jammin ; with Pigmann we have Debbie and Terry ; with Big Dan returning to us is Maraia; and from Maui with KC meet veteran burners Chad and Kristen.
 
For those of you in the greater Sacramento area (and in selected cities across the country too numerous to mention here), on Saturday, March 18 beginning at 1 p.m. is Brides of March!  https://www.facebook.com/TheBridesOfMarchSacramento/  Get an old wedding dress from Salvation Army, Goodwill, or St. Vincent de Paul Thrift Shop and join us at The Mercantile Saloon, 1928 L Street in midtown, and be ready for a pub crawl that will not only turn heads but if history is any indication, get us on the news!  A splendid time is guaranteed for all.  Oh, and guys, keep in mind men’s sizes are not analogous to women’s sizes, especially in wedding gowns. I know mine is a bit tight in the bust and makes my butt look fat.
 
And for those of you who wish to follow us on the interwebs, our sites are http://barbiedeathcamp.com or on Facebook https://facebook.com/barbiedeathvillage.
 
The Man burns in 185 days )’(
 
Respectfully submitted,
 
Doc Pyro & Felony Arson