NOTE: Email and home addresses have been removed from this newsletter - if you need to paypal/send anything please refer to the original copy (should have been mailed to all members) or ask around in the Facebook group
Welcome to  May everybody and this month’s oh-so-riveting Barbie Death Village newsletter.  Every year at this time we like to celebrate our favorite pseudo-holiday, and I’m referring of course to Beltane.  For many of you this is the greatest day of the year, and for the uninitiated, allow me to explain.  Beltane is the Gaelic May Day Festival.  The name originates from the Celtic god, Bel “the bright one” and the Gaelic word teine which means “fire”.  So Beltane translates to “bright fire” and what could be more  Burning Man than that?  And since so many of our fellow Barbiebarians are either Druids, wiccans, or Celtic neopagans, this comes as cultural relief indeed.  Keep in mind Beltane is associated in Irish mythology with “…special bonfires and their flames, smoke, and ashes which are deemed to have protective powers.”  So I have adopted Beltane which now of course makes me Druish.  But I digress.  As is my wont, I try to begin these tomes with something Barbie Death Camp related, and I came across this article.  We’re mentioned in the fifth picture in the piece which shows us during our Saturday Pancake Pork Out.  Enjoy!
We had a nice meeting early in April and were able to hash out people to be in charge of certain tasks.  We’re still short a few but we’ll address those one at a time.  We have two mechanics already signed on for the art vehicles, Matt and Sean, and we have drivers ready to schlepp them to TTITD:  Danger will be driving out the Barbie car and Jon will be hauling out The Cloud Car.   Both hope to be on the playa by Thursday.  We do need one more person to haul the silver trailer that contains our sofas, so if anyone can handle that (and it’s not particularly heavy) please let Felony know ASAP.  You will of course be guaranteed as many early arrival passes as you need.  We also need somebody to haul out the flatbed trailer that holds the piano, shade shelters, and whatever is left over in the storage shed.   Don has stepped up and is volunteering another 30 gallons of red wine for the wine bistro (welcome back, by the way!) and to that we say “Thank you!”
I suspect many of you are interested on the progress of the art vehicles. Not only are they registered but work has begun on getting them playa ready.  We met for a week in Silver Springs, NV and cleaned and rewired The Cloud Car, did some repairs on BarbieHouse, and secured a small storage shed to keep our vehicles’ valuables in. It seems some miscreant stole the four batteries needed to operate the smaller vehicle so we ponied up some bucks to see that doesn’t happen again.  Your camp dues at work.  We will have several more work parties before August. Our hope is to have them all decorated (we’re thinking of shrink-wrapping Cloud to protect it on the way to TTITD) and ready to go before the event begins.  Blowphish and I will get the fire cannons out there during the summer and Drew will be coordinating further work parties.  If you’re available we always could use your help.  I want to thank Wildman, Felony, Melissa, Jon, Tom, Lisa, Danger, Tina, Hornsby, Paula, Brooke, Anthony, Drew, Jess, Matt, Sean, Marvin and Sharen for helping out.  (My apologies if I left anyone off this list.) Apart from my hangover Sunday morning I thought everything went great!
We have our event coordinators for most of our major events.  Teri will be handling the Monday night Chili Cook-off as well as the Tuesday Midnight taco feed.  She will also be holding her Second Annual Bloody Barbie’s Bar Wednesday evening.  Wildman will be herding cats to handle Greeter’s Tuesday evening from 8 p.m. until midnight.    Vulture Chow and Sharen are co-heads of the Naked Bike Ride & Pub Crawl on Wednesday morning.  Bobbin/Brand X will be in charge of the ePlaya Meet & Greet Wednesday evening.  Thursday afternoon Vulture Chow and Graidawg will be heading up the Bum Wine Tasting Party.  Come Friday Morning Paula/Yummy Goodness will be in charge of body painting at Black Rock City Body & Paint for Critical T(.)(.)ts.  On Saturday morning Hornsby will be spearheading the Annual Sunset Red Memorial Pancake Pork-out and that evening Felony will be in charge of the On Playa Weenie Roast.  Sometime during the week both Felony and Sprinkles will be organizing our first-ever Barbie Death Village Flash Mob.  If you want to help out with any of these events, please sign up on our Volunteer Spot page (VC can get you the link if you don’t already have it) or contact the event leads personally.
Everyone knows that Barbie Death Village is the lap of luxury, especially by Burning Man standards.  Talk about your low-hanging fruit.  Be that as it may, one reason we’re the envy of every other village on the playa is that we are the only major village with our own garbage disposal service so you don’t have to haul out your filthy hippie-infested debris after the event is over.  Last year Wildman hauled out 6,090 pounds, more than three tons, of camp-generated garbage.  We will have the same program in effect this year.  For $5/bag or 3/$10 you will get your own 30-gallon trash bag to be hauled away on Tuesday after the event.  Please no human bodily waste or Democrats; Wildman only has so much tolerance.  We could use 30-40 people helping us clean up camp and load the trailer on Monday and Tuesday.  If you can help please let Wildman know.  Bags will be available throughout the week and to his efforts, we say “Gracias Wildman!”
Tickets.  We know many of you haven’t been able to secure them yet, and this is a problem we face every year.  And every year we manage to work it out because Barbie Death Village has its collective act together.  If you need a ticket or have one available, please contact Chris to get on the I-need-tickets list.  The Village will guarantee you will be paid if you are selling a ticket.  The same goes for vehicle passes.  Please DO NOT put your extra tickets in S.T.E.P.!  Your fellow Barbiebarians always come first.  This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to secure a ticket through S.T.E.P. or the OMG sale later this summer.  But rest assured, everyone who needs a ticket and is current on their camp dues will manage, somehow, to secure a ticket to Burning Man.
So let’s talk about dues.  This is the last month to get them in before they go up on June 1.  Veterans living in North America are asked to pony up $100.  All newbies and all camp veterans coming in from overseas will be assessed $150.  A month from today everyone’s dues go up by another fifty bucks, so please hurry and get your dues in ASAP.  You can use our preferred method, PayPal with Doc Pyro's email as the go-to addy or you can send your check (no cash please) snail mail to Jim Jacoby/8577 Balmoral Dr/Newcastle CA  95658.
We still have some early arrival passes available, especially for Friday and Saturday, for those of you needing to arrive before the event begins.  You will be put to work setting up shade structures, putting together The Barbie Box and shower, laying canvas in the center of camp, positioning the Barbie “art”, and a host of other menial and pointless tasks.  If you need a pass let Felony and me know as soon as you have figured out when you intend to arrive.
A wise man once said, “Always predict the worst and you’ll be hailed as a prophet.”  Just ask any Trump supporter. (See, I’m an equal opportunity political offender.)  Well, that idea segues to the fact our camp needs a piano tuner and they’re not exactly falling into our lap.  And a piano, but I’ll get to that in a moment.  If you know of anyone who can tune a piano attending TTITD or wants to go and needs a home and a job, Barbie Death Village will welcome them with both open arms and an early arrive pass.  If you do please let me know.  We have had a few leads on pianos but they’ve either fallen through or the people don’t know the difference from an upright piano and a console.  Jon has volunteered to pick up any (preferably free) piano in the general Sacramento area and then haul our old trashed one out to the dump.  If you know of anyone jonesing to get rid of a piano that’s in decent shape, let Jon know.  And please, no uprights or baby grands.  Our backs can take only so much.
There are several special events coming up in the general Sacramento area.  Danger and Hornsby will be heading up Golden Coast Adventure Faire in Elverta (Gibson Ranch) this coming Saturday and Sunday with all proceeds going to help The Rainbow Girls.  If you like pirates, debauchery, and strong drink (and let’s face it, who doesn’t?) this is the event for you.  And this Thursday is the monthly Sacramento Burners Meet Up beginning around 6:30 at Bennie’s Bar & Grille, 20th and Q Streets in midtown.
For those of you who are internet-inclined, you can follow us on our website at or on Facebook
I would like to introduce our latest additions to Barbie Death Camp:  With Rellie from the OC welcome Kate; Grawg is bringing along Eian and Tina ; Danger and Tina are enlightening Lori and Tom; with Graidawg and VC we have Kayla.
The Man burns in 124 days )’(
Respectfully submitted,
Doc Pyro & Felony Arson