NOTE: Email and home addresses have been removed from this newsletter - if you need to paypal/send anything please refer to the original copy (should have been mailed to all members) or ask around in the Facebook group
 
Welcome to March everybody and another riveting Barbie Death Village newsletter.  As winter gives way to spring, I am reminded of a quote from Garrison Keillor in his book Lake Wobegon Days: “March is the month God created to show people who don’t drink what a hangover is like.”  Of course if you live in Alaska that month is called May, but I digress.  As usual we like to begin these newsletters with something Barbie Death Camp related.  Here is a link that, if your scroll down to Tuesday, describes us as “…the famed Barbie Death Camp…”  So take that Gigsville (and I for one don’t think we’re all that sick).  Enjoy!
 
 
Today is the day (well, technically yesterday) that if you were awarded Directed Group Sale tickets that they went on sale.  You must buy your tickets and vehicle pass before the end of the day today!  You should find your code under “Sparkly Things” on the Burner Profile link https://profiles.burningman.org/  Though the Burning Man website says you have until noon PST tomorrow to buy your DGS tickets, our experience has been that they close the sale as soon as they reach the upper limit on the amount of tickets available. In other words, get off of your rusty dusty and buy your tickets now.  (You can come back to this brilliant newsletter after you purchase your tickets.)  We know a number of you have been “inconvenienced” by having to share your link with a fellow Barbiebarian.  A few of you even had some rather choice words for me which will not be repeated here.  Keep in mind that getting a DGS ticket is a privilege and not a right.  Some of you we suspect won’t even be there early to set up much less stay late to help clean up, which places an undue burden on the rest of us.  Yet some are sniveling because “…I didn’t get enough tickets for all of my friends…”  Just be thankful you’re not like the other 90% of those denizens of Black Rock City—and a majority of members of Barbie Death Village—who have to go through the regular-way sale.
 
That said, and yes it was a rant because several of you have made our lives a living hell, registration for the regular-way sale begins at noon Wednesday, March 21(PDT) and ends 48 hours later.  The sale commences at noon on March 28.  You must be ready to buy your tickets the moment they go on sale.  They will be sold out, if history is any guide (and it is), in 47 minutes.  For a full explanation of tickets go to https://tickets.burningman.org/   There will be other opportunities to buy tickets before TTITD begins, but for dues-paying members of our camp we will have our in-village Ticket Exchange program up and running.  Last year we matched up over 40 people—essentially everyone who needed a ticket—with a ticket by mid-August.  Do not despair, everyone who needs a ticket will somehow manage to get one.  That’s why you are members of Barbie Death Village.  With that being said, I want to again thank Sharen and Chris for heading up the exchange this year.  If you have a ticket for sale or are in need of a ticket, reach out to them by email. 
 
On a related subject, let’s discuss vehicle passes.  Even though we all realize that this is nothing more than an unabashed rip-off so Larry Harvey and his ilk can do better drugs and drink high-end liquor at our expense, it is nonetheless a reality.  They only give one vehicle pass per pair of tickets.  Vehicle Passes will be available in the OMG sale come August. But what if you don’t get them there, then what?  In the past passes were available at Will Call.  So anybody in need of a VP come August who cannot manage to carpool with someone who has one, you will have priority on a Saturday Work Access Pass (early entry pass) in order to get your vehicle pass with the least amount of hassle.  You see, membership does indeed have its privileges.  This seems like a reasonable compromise where everybody comes out ahead.  Felony and I like to call it “enlightened camp leadership.”
 
A quick word on dues.  Until June 1 (when they go up for everybody by fifty bucks), dues for veterans coming in from North America are $100 and newbies are $150.  Everyone coming in from overseas will be assessed an additional $50.  You can use our preferred method of payment, using PayPal to Doc (NOTE:  This is not the same email address that the newsletter is usually sent from) or snail mail to Doc's home address. (Check the email newsletter if you need this info, or ask us! You can send a message to the FB page.)
 
It is that time of year when we begin choosing people to head up various committees in order to streamline the work that needs to be done to make a camp likeBarbie Death Camp run like a well-oiled machine.  We are assuming—perhaps hoping is a more accurate word—that the same people who headed up various tasks last year will do the same this year.  We hate reinventing the wheel.  Here are some of the committees that need to be ran, and if you’d like to help please let Felony know ASAP.  We hope to have our Volunteer Spot up and running shortly to better simplify the process. (Some days are approximate) Pre-event SATURDAY and SUNDAY: Pizza/lasagna feed; MONDAY:  “I Won Burning Man”, Chili Cook Off; TUESDAYGreeter’s Shift, taco feed; WEDNESDAY: Eplaya Meet & Greet (Brand X) and the Bloody Barbies Party, Naked Bike Ride & Pub Crawl, Tour de Franzia;  THURSDAYBum Wine Tasting Party, Fizzball; FRIDAY: BRC Body & Paint opens for business for Critical T(.)(.)ts, ladies 3-hour mutant vehicle art tour; SATURDAY: Pancake Pork-out, art vehicles to the playa for The Burn, On-Playa Weenie Roast.  Also remember we need people to help head up mutant vehicle decoration, registration, and flame effects, daily MOOP sweeps, lumpia feed most midnights, and on it goes.
 
No word yet on shirts and hats for 2018.  I do know that Stu said he is working on the design and should have a PDF soon.
 
Hottie, one of our long-time Barbiebarians, has moved out to Northern California (Auburn) from Florida and is looking for a place to rent.  If you know of someplace affordable please let her know. (Her contact info is in the email version of the newsletter).
 
For those of you in the market for a smaller yet very functional mutant vehicle, Mike and Bobbi have one for sale.  It is playa-tested and works like a beaut.  Mike’s cost to build it was 15 grand but he’s asking to let it go for $9500.  Contact Mike. And just  a reminder, Marty still has his MV for sale as well.   (Both of their contact info are in the email version of the newsletter).
 
Now to introduce our newbies.  With Ingeouss and their new sub-camp Robacchus, welcome Rongo; with Bobbi and Mike we have Bonnie and Ken; with Gary from Texas welcome Mike, Gretchen, and Dana; from the Czech Republic joining Adela welcome Jiri and Milan; with Kaspr say hello to Wendy; and finally, with Perry we welcome aboard Troy.
 
I would also like to note that our good friends A Playa Home Companion are also going independent this year and they absolutely will be missed.  So if any veteranBarbiebarians know of an established camp looking for placement in (and thus joining) the most revered Village on the playa, please let Felony and me know so we can do the vetting process.  It looks like we will have space within the Village for several new sub-camps should we be so inclined.
 
And on a personal note, for those who might be interested in tying the knot in holy matrimony, I have become an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church and can legally perform weddings in the State of California.  I already have my first assignment on March 18 for a couple of lovebirds who met at the most romantic camp on the playa, I am referring of course to Barbie Death Camp.  Let the party begin!
 
The Man burns in 184 days )’(
 
Respectfully submitted,
 
Doc Pyro & Felony Arson