NOTE: Email and home addresses have been removed from this newsletter - if you need to paypal/send anything please refer to the original copy (should have been mailed to all members) or ask around in the Facebook group
Welcome to January everybody and a New Year!  This is the inaugural Barbie Death Village newsletter for 2018.  I think I can safely say 2017 was an interesting year, but then again, aren’t they all?  So as we usher in the New Year I’d like to welcome back all of our fellow Barbiebarians, wannabees, hanger-oners, friends, acquaintances, playamates, and of course my personal favorite, “Burners With Benefits”.  Our newsletters will be coming out at least monthly from now through August so you will be thoroughly prepared for your trek to the hot, dusty, and let’s face it, godforsaken playa with your fellow Villagemates.  In 2017 our Village had 271 people, which was a little larger than planned but workable, however we expect to downsize somewhat this year.  Since Barbie Death Village brings in people from no fewer than five continents, and last year we were represented by at least 18 different countries, organization is a must.  This is why Felony and I inflict these dreary newsletters on you so you can stay well informed as we march inexorably towards August.
We try to begin these insightful tomes with something Barbie Death Camp related, and though we’re running out of original material, we have this pictography from 2017.  Enjoy!
Now on to matters at hand.  The very first question we ask every year around this time is this:  Who’s coming back for 2018?  If you are receiving this newsletter you are welcome back.  If you didn’t get it, well, then last year was the end of the road for you I suppose.  Anyway, we did expel one campmate and another, whom we don’t believe is going to return in any event, is on “double secret probation”.  If you want off of this mailing list please let me know and I will eliminate you with extreme prejudice.  We are accepting newbies again this year of course, and actually are encouraging their active participation.  We do respectfully request that all burgins be sponsored, or using Trumpian verbiage “aggressively vetted”, but a current Barbiebarian.  You are ultimately responsible for their behavior so choose wisely.
Every year we seem to add and subtract people.  Some people stupidly change camps/villages, others take a year (or two or three) hiatus, some simply “outgrow” TTITD, and others just get sick of the whole thing and hang it up for good.  But in order to make a budget, plan logistics, request space and those all-important work access passes (you know, “early arrival passes”), we would like to have a handle on how many people will be gracing our fair Village in 2018.  If you know you’re going to be there please let us know ASAP.  We understand that the number of people who actually go to Burning Man with our village is always greater than we initially plan for because so many people are added during the summer.  But at least this gives us a baseline to begin with.  If you’re sure you will be making it, and more importantly if you need special assistance in the form of work access passes, we need to know that well ahead of time. 
Next on the agenda are dues.  As was mentioned in the State of the Village newsletter in October, there will not be a dues increase this year.  All veterans coming from North America we be assessed $100 and all newbies will pay $150 until June 1.  Anyone coming in from overseas will be asked to pay an additional $50.  The reason for that is simple:  Our experience has been that because of the logistics involved due to distance, foreigners contribute little or nothing to the building and teardown ofBarbie Death Village and that in the aggregate consume more of our communal resources as opposed to somebody coming in, for example, from the East Coast.  This places an unreasonable burden on the rest of us, thus the added fifty bucks.  You can begin paying your dues now using our preferred method PayPal.  Make sure you’re “sending to a friend” so we’re not assessed a 3% fee.  You may also snail mail your personal check (please do not send cash) to Doc.
Every year it seems we are asked, usually be some newbie, “Where does all of the money go?” which is a perfectly reasonable question.  I’ve often wondered the same thing myself.  But I digress.  The biggest ongoing bills we have are the rental of the box truck at around $2000 and the two storage sheds, one in Newcastle CA and the other in Silver Springs NV, for $3000.  We use the storage sheds and their facilities to store the two mutant vehicles and their infrastructure, the camp decorations, water barrels, sofas, the piano, 1400 incredibly dusty Barbies, gas containers, generators, shade structures, gallows, tables/chairs, ice chests, and anything else we can cram in.  Keep in mind most camps/villages have a dues structure that begins at well over $200 and some go as high as $600 and up.  I’m looking at you Camp Cyberia ($560), Shamandome ($600), and Serendipitea ($700). Frankly that is a shameful rip-off.  Here is a partial list of many of the things your dues provide:
1)      The aforementioned storage facilities
2)      Access to our various generators and microwave ovens
3)      No less than 1200 square feet of shade
4)      Canvas to cover the main camp to keep the dust down
5)      Eight large sofas to lounge around on in comfort
6)      Access to chairs and tables, including a picnic table, to comfortably eat and rest
7)      Body paint for Black Rock City Body & Paint (body painting on Friday)
8)      A shower that runs electrically so you can actually get clean along with 600+ gallons of water
9)      Art vehicle insurance, registration, maintenance, and decoration
10)   Work Access Passes (whose value cannot be overstated)
11)   Lumpia most nights at midnight
12)   Piano repair and maintenance, including tuning
13)   Use of all burn barrels and trash receptacles
14)   Hauling away of your personal and Village-created trash
15)   Access to no fewer than two art vehicles so you can tool around the playa in comfort
16)   Gasoline to power the art cars and generators to light up the camp
17)   Glowstix every night so darkwads don’t get run over
18)   Pizza for the pre-event feed for those who helped set up the camp
19)   Wine
20)   Guaranteed location on a corner so you can find your way home after partying all night on the playa
21)   Specified space, as much as you reasonably need, for your personal campsite
22)   Automatic invite and participation in the Naked Bike Ride & Pub Crawl
23)   Ringside seat for the ePlaya Meet & Greet
24)   Libations on the art vehicle
25)   Coffee every morning
26)   Participation in the Chili Cook-Off, Pancake Pork-Out, and After Burn Weenie Roast
27)   Propane to use on the fire cannons and flame effects on the art vehicles
28)   Constant (at least monthly) updates throughout the year up until TTITD
29)   Membership in one of the most revered and well-established camps/villages on the playa.
So as you can clearly see, your camp dues go to some very worthy causes.  Happily this year we have no (that we’re aware of) major expenses like the redesign of the art vehicles.  Things always pop up of course—like having to repair the flatbed trailers and add a whole new set of tires to the silver trailer—and everything costs more than you budget for, but this year we really do think we have it covered.
Next up are tickets.  Though this may well be putting the cart ahead of the proverbial horse, we have to start somewhere.  We are under the assumption that the BMOrg will be granting us Directed Group Sale (DGS) tickets ahead of the unwashed masses.  If they don’t none of what I’m about to say will matter.  Last year they gave us 50 pairs of tickets, which equals 100 total for the Village.  (Note to you people always sniveling about not being able to get tickets:  Pay your dues and get your DGS tix and you can stop worrying about it; and we don’t want to hear that you’re waiting for “low income tickets” because frankly that’s not our problem.)  Like was mentioned in the State of the Village newsletter, there are some of you who are going to expect to get DGS tickets but you’ve been eliminated from contention.  The reason is that several of you promised, either verbally or in writing on our Volunteer Spot list, to remain until Sunday and Monday to help clean camp and you disappeared—some of you for the second time—when it came time for the heavy lifting.  No more Mr. Nice Guy.  Now, presuming we get DGS tickets, you will need to let both me and Felony know that you want one, fill out a Burner Profile on the Burning man website, and make sure we have a good email address from where you intend to purchase your tickets.  You must buy your tickets as a pair or we will pair you up with somebody before the sale commences.  If you need to sell your ticket or vehicle pass, you can offer them up on our in-house Barbie Death Village ticket exchange program which Sharen and Chris will be heading up.  You can sign up between February 13 through the 23rd and DGS tickets go on sale Wednesday, February 28.  Priority will go to veterans of the camp first, particularly those not coming in from overseas, and to those that will be helping with transporting the camp infrastructure (you will need to be from Northern California or Nevada).  Naturally nobodywill receive a link for DGS tickets who haven’t paid their camp dues.  You have been forewarned.  Also note, not everyone in your group will be awarded DGS tickets.  Last year several groups wanted up to eight tickets each.   That is not workable and is unreasonable in any event.  Please be considerate to the rest of your campmates and don’t whine if some in your party are not awarded a DGS link. Everyone who really wants a ticket will somehow manage to get one come August.
And finally, a quick word on space requests. It's never too early to ask for your sub-camp space, and especially if you need street frontage with interactive activities, please let Julia know ASAP.  You can make your space requests now by contacting Julia.
I would like to introduce some newbies to our modest Village.  From Connecticut with Sarah welcome Steve and Matt, and from Tracy by way of Gerlach please say hello to Amber. 
If you want to keep up with us on the interwebs, make sure to check out our website or like us on Faceplant .
The Man burns in 243 days.
Respectfully submitted,
Doc Pyro & Felony Arson