NOTE: Email and home addresses have been removed from this newsletter - if you need to paypal/send anything please refer to the original copy (should have been mailed to all members) or ask around in the Facebook group
Welcome to the Decompression Season for burners everywhere!  Barbie Death Camp & Wine Bistro just had our annual State of the Village meeting Thursday evening and an interesting evening was had by all.  Vulture Chow and Graidawg came out from New Jersey, edging out Chris Haworth who drove down from Seattle, for the coveted “Friends of OPEC Award”.  But before I get into the important aspects of the meeting, there are a few announcements I’d like to kick this newsletter off with.  First off, Frank the Vintner, who actually developed the “Wine Bistro” part of our camp, has just been released from the hospital.  He had kidney cancer and had one of them removed.  He is at home resting comfortably—and of course was unable to attend the SOTV Meeting—but we want to wish him a full and healthy recovery.  We look forward to having him back in the fold next year.  And on a completely unrelated note, I would like to announce our Rookie(s) of the Year Award.  This year was pretty much a no-brainer:  From Amsterdam, Inosha and Tom, and in particular Inosha.  Here is a woman who on Monday would not so much as take off her top (without much coercion from the patrons of the lounge, and then for only a moment) at the Party Naked Tiki Bar—the name itself speaks volumes—to hitting the Orgy Dome not once,but twice before the week was out.  If that isn’t coming out of your shell and embracing the Burning Man spirit, then I don’t know was does.  Congratulations you two!  Now, on to the business at hand.
The first thing on everybody’s mind is finances.  For the first time in recent memory, we actually ended up in the black after paying off all of our bills.  The last one for $1375 went to the storage shed in Silver Springs, NV so the books are closed for the year.  We ended up just under $2000 ahead, so it was decided that there shall be no dues increase for 2018!  Veterans until June 1 will pay $100, newbies $150, and anyone coming in from overseas an extra $50 as well.  We are also waiving the $100 DGS deposit since candidly, it didn’t work out very well.  So good news all around financially.
We did expel one person and another (whom we believe will not be camping with us in any event) is on “double-secret probation”.  So for the most part, our citizenry was on their finest behavior.  On the other end of the spectrum is whom are we going to ask to join Barbie Death Village.  Jon is going to ask the small camp Circle of Friends to join us.  We will let you know probably come February if they say yes.  And finally, The Tuna Guys will not be with us in 2018.  Where they’re camping is on a “need-to-know” basis but they may return in the future.  We are also going to request through the BMOrg when we fill out the village application to, if possible, be located near Poly Paradise, Duck Pond, and Martini Village.
Next on the agenda are tickets.  We are going to ask Sharen to head up the Ticket Exchange, with Chris as her helper, this year.  We hope to get another 100 Direct Group Sale tickets, but won’t know for sure until February when the BMOrg makes their announcement.  We were solid green on the MOOP Map so that bodes well.  There are going to be some of you who will be very disappointed indeed.  Several names came up of people promising, in writing through The Volunteer Spot, to help clean up camp and other tasks which went unfulfilled.  They simply vanished when it came time to do the real heavy lifting.  You will not be getting a DGS link this year.  No more Mr. Nice Guy, we are through letting people simply slide out of their responsibilities.  But look on the bright side:  That frees up maybe a half dozen tickets for the rest of us.
I mentioned the MOOP Map, and again, we as a Village did an exemplary job.  One place where we didn’t do so well, and this is an annual problem, is where we have kept the kegs which Don donates that hold the wine in the Wine Bistro.  They leak wine everywhere, and I must admit I was part of the problem.  We had to dig a hole over a foot deep to finally be able to cover the stain caused by the wine.  Next year we are going to keep the keg in a small kiddie pool which will capture any spillage so we no longer have that problem.
Let’s talk trash, shall we?  This was not a banner year for Barbie Death Village in the garbage department.  As a Village we generated 7,080 pounds—over 3 ½ tons—of trash.  This shatters the previous record by nearly a half a ton.  And we managed to lose money for the first time.  We were selling pink trash bags for $5 apiece, or 3 for $10.  One camp bought $100 worth of bags (for you sub-geniuses out there, that equals 30)  and then proceeded to dump over 60 bags of trash into the trailer.  Next year we are going to do things a little bit differently:  Everyone will be gifted, as part of your dues, one pink bag.  All other bags will be on sale as before, and this includes before we even hit the playa.  But Wildman will not accept any trash, with the rare exception of that which is Village-generated (like empty wine bladders from the Naked Bike Ride & Pub Crawl for example), that is not in a pink bag.  We don’t want to hear your excuses.  Since we will be offering the opportunity to pre-purchase bags, the excuse “Well, Wildman’s never around” will fall on deaf ears.  And it’s not that he’s never around, he’s probably just avoiding you on purpose.  God knows I do.
We have an “Art Car Team”, to be headed up by Brooke and Anthony.  The vehicles both need oil changes, transmission and radiator checks, be ran once a month, and basic maintenance.  We will not start doing repairs and rehabilitation until probably May when the weather turns warmer.  Hopefully we can get several volunteer teams in California and Nevada to help out in this task.
This is certainly an improvement:  We are changing the way we do ice runs.  You will be able to pre-pay, as a sub-camp, for your ice.  No more trying to locate people who don’t slither out of their bat cave until the crack of noon for ice.  We are also looking at spending down some of our excess money and buy the camp a deep freezer.  This is in the planning process and we’ll fill you in on details if and when they emerge.  We will also deliver ice to a designated spot for each sub-camp, into their own specially-marked cooler.  No more ice thievery in Barbie Death Village.
We are going to follow up on this year’s BED Talk with one again next year.  Beginning one hour before the Chili Cook-Off (5:00 on Monday) we plan on having it scheduled.  Vulture Chow and Graidawg will be in charge of those logistics.  But considering how—and I’m not sure how to say this delicately—some charges of sexual misconduct, be they true or not, were handled, this seems like the proper course to take.
We are looking at having a Black Rock City Mall in our Village.  The concept as I understand it will be a stage within the Village if a sub-camp wishes to host an event.  This will probably take some of the space vacated by The Tuna Guys.  This is still in the early planning stages so come Spring we should have a more solid explanation.
We had some problems during clean up with the burn barrel.  We had asked everyone to stop burning their trash by noon on Monday, but come Tuesday people were still ignoring our requests and burning things, including the sign which read “NO BURNING AFTER NOON ON MONDAY”.  So in order to stop that from happening again, we are adding a locking mechanism to the trash barrel which will solve that problem.  And people, as funny as you might have thought it was, burning the DO NOT BURN sign was just uncool.
We need better baskets and locking/unlocking mechanisms for the hot dog feed.  We are open to suggestions.  If you come up with a superior system naturally the camp will cover all costs.
Felony has decided that the Village needs a “Kodiak Appreciation Day.”  This will somehow honor Kodiak McStompinboots and we will fill you in on the details come summer.
And finally, on a completely unrelated subject, for those of you in the general Northern California region (or those vagabonds willing to fly out), the annual—and very possibly the last—AMTRAKathon Snow Party Train to Reno will commence on the weekend of January 27-28.  $199/single, $325/couple includes bottomless champagne and beer, catered lunch, roundtrip transportation from the Roseville Amtrak station, hotel room, and that Saturday night a Burning Man-inspired party.  We can take 90 people (it’s over 35% full already) and a $100 deposit will hold your spot until December.  You can use PayPal with Doc's email as the go-to addy.  So if you’ve been “sitting on the fence” on whether or not to take this marvelous trip, this may well be your last chance.  So sign up today, m’kay?
Respectfully submitted,
Doc Pyro and Felony Arson